Hooroo Oz

Some of you may know that Carl and I (and the kids) were planning to move to Australia in a year or two.  Australia has always been my dream and it really looked as though it might happen.  But there it is 'My Dream'.  It has transpired that other than the tearful goodbye's we would have faced I have realised that Lisa, is still dreadfully unhappy about it.  I had a terrible image of us at the airport and her becoming distraught and saying she couldn't go.  My son, eighteen who lives with his girlfriend wouldn't commit either way which spoke volumes in itself.  I knew deep down that he wouldn't be coming with us.

Carl?  Well bless him, he tried very hard to fall in love with the idea but the closeness of his relationship with his parents presented many hurdles.  Some of which he didn't want to attempt to jump.  Not that I blame him.  This time last year I wasn't close to my mum at all but since she had her fall in January we have become a lot closer.  When I'm there at the weekends I see her get so upset when it's time for me to leave it upsets me too.  She isn't getting any younger, she's in her late seventies.  What will happen if she becomes ill or falls again?  I won't be much good on the other side of the world will I.  So it's a 'no' I'm afraid.  After much soul searching, tears, doubts and realisations, it a definite 'no'.  I wanted to share this news with you because it hurts and it feels good to unburden to somebody who isn't directly involved.  I appreciate this post might be disjointed but I have allowed my emotion to take control on this post.